From My Journal

I haven’t cried in a long time. I’m not talking about a cry that comes from pain or emotional distress or anything like that. The crying I mean comes from someplace deeper.

I don’t remember what I was watching but a few days, or a week, ago I found myself getting teary-eyed while watching some show or movie. When I watch shows like “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” or see an exceptionally romantic or meaningful scene I tend to well up with tears. It doesn’t come from a sappy side that I have, it’s just that shows like that or touching movies tap into something that is fundamentally genuine and good that I don’t see or experience that often.

Remembering back across my life I recall a few moments when I’ve been on one side or the other of just such an expression of honestly and goodness. They are the most moving of moments. They reveal something that is nothing less than a true reflection of one’s heart and most certainly contains something of the divine. I know when I have expressed myself with total humility and honesty I cry. And when my heart is touched by the words of another spoken with the same genuineness, I cry. And it’s amazing!

I don’t know why, but times like that are rare for me nowadays. Meaningful moments that are real and not filtered through the screen of my tv just haven’t been there. And I’m not sure where to find them.

I haven’t cried in a long time…

And I want to cry again…

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