Four Years Later

I just finished watching a show on the National Geographic Channel that chronicled the morning of September 11, 2001. Even though I felt the pain and utter disbelief of that morning as I watched the fuzzy images through the tv antenae four years ago, and I felt the loss again as I watched the show today I became conscious once again of just how easy it is to let go and move on. I’m not talking about forgetting about it, just accepting it and going on.

I found myself feeling that way after the tsunami, and again recently with Katrina. There came a point when my rubber-necking, information-hungry, desire to see it all just shut off and I didn’t want to watch any more news casts or read any more articles. I just needed to turn off the tv.

I’m not proud of it, but I have to be honest about it. It just got to be too much to hear about all of the pain and suffering. I grew weary of the blame games and the reports of irratic behavior. It became easier to just change the channel and watch something funny and upbeat.

I’m not sure I’m going anywhere with this other than to say that even though coverage may fade into other news of the day, and I may not be as outwardly affected by it, and I may not view everything through a 9/11 lens – or post-Katrina lens – like some might, I still feel my part of the heartache and carry it with me. Even if I do change the channel and move on.

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