Weekly Rant About My Life
I’ve been feeling a bit off lately. I’m not sure why, exactly, but I haven’t been myself. I’m tired, burned out, unable to focus, unmotivated, uninspired, and somewhat restless.
I’ve been writing and re-writing this post for the past 40 minutes and I can’t seem to figure out what to say without sounding too depressed or whiny or pathetic. There’s just so much that’s been bouncing around my head and so many emotions that have been battling within me that I’m just getting weary. I’m confident in my religious choices but I don’t want to deal with any of the potential confrontation that may be coming up next week at an event. I’m glad I live in this apartment and not my last but I feel a bit removed – even though most things aren’t that different. I’ve been excited about some things with work but I feel so uninspired. I’m so happy when I get to spend time or talk on the phone with friends but the feelings wear off so quickly… too quickly… I long for love and companionship but I always seem to come up short, and my solitude has gotten to be so comfortably familiar. I want to do things but I never know what. It’s so frustrating and I wait for the day when my life will take a turn, no matter how slightly, towards some progress, any progress, just so I know that things are starting to get better.
I ache for that day.
Thank you for putting up with my ranting.